Super-Advanced LARP Glossary

A good friend of mine recently wrote up a couple of guides to larp terminology. Whilst extensive, I think that it there are a few more definitions for some of the less common phrases that might be useful...







Acute Coolitis (n) - an affliction of larp-writers, manifesting as an urge to include plot elements that are incredibly cool and ground-breaking, regardless of whether or not they make sense in any wider context. A leading cause of Feral Plot.
"Hey, what about giving the Heirophant a staff that turns things into squid?"
"I dunno, that doesn't really fit with the rest of the campaign setting... Are you sure you haven't gotten Acute Coolitis?"
"But it'd be awesome!"

Advanced Cockweasel Alchemy (n) - any sufficiently advanced and obscure ability of questionable real value.
"Huh, Craft Smart Kettle just came up on my research options."
"Don't bother with it, it's pretty much just Advanced Cockweasel Alchemy"

... And then the Assamites jumped out! (int) - an expression of scorn for an overly long and masturbatory story.
"But then, I lured the Archbishop into the safe house, and..."
"... and then the Assamites jumped out! Whatever, fuck off."

Déjà Vampire (n) - the feeling that one has seen this character concept before.
"Huh, sorry, yes, please tell me more of your character's backstory. I'm definitely listening. Just had a moment of Déjà Vampire there..."

Diplomancy (n) - the Dark Art of being polite to those that one is planning on murdering later.
"Boss, why are you promising the Pogonians all these concessions when we've already got the kill-squads ready to go?"
"Diplomancy, my dear boy, Diplomancy..."

Deus Ex Machinegunning (vb) - the frantic, chaotic attempts of event organizers to somehow bring a Feral Plot to heel without having to retcon it out of existence, often making the problem worse.
"What was with all the squid-eating demons? Was it just me, or did none of that make any sense?"
"Not a clue. I think the refs were Deus Ex Machinegunning."

Ego Montoya (vb) - to attempt to avenge the death of one's previous character with one's subsequent character.
"Dude, this is the third time you've played your own character's brother. Quit Ego Montoyaing already!"

Eldritch Lacemaking (n) - an ability that requires an amount of investment of time and effort to acquire that is disproportionate to its actual utility.
"It's taken my four years, but I've finally unlocked the Eldritch Lacemaking skill."
"Cool, what does it do?"
"... I'm not actually sure."

Feral Plot (n) - a badly thought-out plot element that causes substantial, far-reaching, and entirely unintended consequences.
"We've got another Squid Incident. Olive just used it on the Pogonian Ambassador"
"Argh, I wish I'd never put the Staff of Everything Is Now Squid into play. Stupid Feral Plot..."

Fishmalk (n) - a mentally ill character, or one otherwise at odds with the general consensus reality, who is played entirely for laughs.
"Andreas is meant to be some kind of mad prophet, but his player seems to think this means he can just throw custard everywhere and refuse to communicate except through sock puppetry. Stupid Fishmalk..."

Flangewall (n) - the impenetrable barrier that separates an event from the rest of the gameworld, preventing actions that one might logically wish to perform outside of the are in which the event is set.
"Why can't I bring my army of trained ostriches into the Pogonian capital, anyhow?"
"Flangewall, innit?"

Friendly Local Geezer (n) - what one is when having to enter an in-character area for entirely out-of-character purposes, such as retrieving costume due to a sudden case of Steel Poisoning.
"Halt! Who goes there?"
"Erm... just a Friendly Local Geezer."
"Oh, hi Ewan. Lost another character?"
"Yep, just going to scrub all this fake blood off..."

Have A Statue Dropped On You (vb) - to receive a Plot Brick with extreme prejudice.
"Did you hear? Horace Had A Statue Dropped On Him in downtime. Guess all that heresy finally caught up with him..."

Muggerwock (n) - a character who spends most of their time robbing and murdering others for little discernible reason. Frequently to be found lurking outside toilets.
"Beware the Muggerwock, my son!
The knives that stab, the stun-lock mace!
Beware the port-a-loos, and shun
That murderous crayon-face!"

Plot Brick (n) - a sudden, unexpected, and oft-traumatic turn of events experienced by a player-character, often as a result of SCIENCE!
"OK, Jasper, you've successfully combined the Eldritch Doily and the Smart Kettle. Here's your new lammy for a Transmutation Engine... and this here ring-binder is your new special brief."
"Dammit, that's one hell of a Plot Brick!"


Pointed Conversation (n) - murder.
"Back in a bit, I'm off to see the Archbishop. I need to have a rather... Pointed Conversation with her."
"Gotcha, I'll go and distract the militia."


Pointed Theological Conversation (n) - murder, generally with a sacrificial element.
"Back in a bit, I'm off to see the Foreign Minister. I need to have a rather... Pointed Theological Conversation with them."
"Sure. Do you need the portable altar?"


Ref Huddle (n) - an ad-hoc gathering of referees and plot writers, generally provoked by players doing something entirely unexpected and/or metaphysically improbable. Often the result of a Feral Plot.
"Folks, we need a Ref Huddle. Christof just tried throwing one of those damn magic squids into the Transmutation Engine, and the entry on the database just reads '[work out what this does later]'."


SCIENCE! (n) - that which results from poking unexpected rules interactions or parts of the setting that the ref team forgot were even there in the first place.

"What exactly are you trying to do with the Transmutation Engine, Christof?"
"SCIENCE!"


Twix Biscuit (vb) - to make random and disparaging comments and/or gestures to show one's utter contempt for another's attempt to manipulate you.
"What the hell? I was trying to explain to Zeph that he should support my political campaign, when he made a bunch of farting noises, yelled something about camels, and stormed off..."
"Dude, you've been twix biscuited."


Yachting Accident (n) - a terrible and unexpected death that strikes out of nowhere when one is simply minding one's own business.
"What happened to Josephine?"
"She's dead - didn't you hear? She had a yachting accident"
"But we're hundreds of miles from the sea..."
"Yachting Accident. Very Tragic. Entirely Unexpected. Nothing To Do With Me."
"... gotcha"


Zulu Moment (n) - 1) the precise moment when your camp is rolled by literally rest of the entire playerbase; 2) an unexpected bowel evacuation experienced at this moment.
"When the entire field decided to charge the Pogonian camp, I had a bit of a Zulu Moment, but fortunately I had some spare trousers in my OOC tent"